KAZEY JOURNAL

SIREN OUT TO SNARE….........

WORRIED SOUL:

I’ve been married for 10 years and love my wife very much. We have two beautiful children. Six years ago, i helped my wife’s sister solve some problems involving her ex-boyfriend. After a few outings, I learnt that she was in love with me, so we had sex.

Then she married, but was not happy with her husband. She began phoning and asking me to meet her. My wife found out and we fought. Now sis-in-law has been sending messages asking me to be her secret lover.

I think I’m in love with her. But I love my family too, and don’t want to let my wife know about our past affair.

Confused

THELMA :

If you love your wife and children, you should not even be thinking of your lover. Your spouse is already aware of your past affair. Think of her pain and anguish should she find out that her husband and her own sister have continued the betrayal.

The woman will only cause you and your family harm. She is obviously selfish and irresponsible. She had no qualms about seducing you and couldn’t care less about her sister’s marriage and the consequences of your affair.

Your behaviour is equally irresponsible and despicable. you were not in love with your sister-in-law. You just allowed list to overwhelm good sense and reason. Had you even considered the problems that could arise from this, you would have run for your life when your lover bared her heart and body.

Dont find excuses for giving in to temptation. You dont fall in love after a few outings involving sex, or some SMS messages. You are simply lured by a siren intent on getting you back into her bed. While you are afraid of getting caught again, you still want to justify your feelings. But feelings bad does not assauge the guilt; it does not right the wrong of wanting to cheat on your wife again.

Dont fool yourself. Tell your lover it’s all over. Do not respond to her calls or messages. The body is weak and its all too easy to succumb to tempations of the flesh. Think of your family.

If your love is truly strong and sincere, you would never want to wreck you home , threaten the sanctity of your marriage, or hurt your innocent children.

Worth Another Shot…..

WORRIED SOUL:

I’M 23 and have been with my first love for six years. It used to be great as he was caring and understanding. But since last year, he has been hot-tempered and keeps saying he isnt good for me because he doesnt have money.

I’m not materialistic and have never wanted money. I helped him out financially when his business failed two years ago. I tried to understand and supported him untill he go a good job.

Now he has no time for me. He prefers to sleep on Sundays, or meet up with his friends. He only comes when he needs me and doesn’t even call.

When i phoned to discuss our relationship, he said he loved me and cared. But he didn’t show it. He knew his attitude was wrong, but he didnt want to change. I didn’t like the way he treated me, so i gave up and broke off with him.

Am I stupid to end it like this after standing by his side all this years? I’m career-oriented and I know how to balance my time, work him and family. I know I’m better off without him, bu t I feel like I’ve lost something important in my life. I still love him but when he calls, i have nothing to say.

Meaningless

THELMA :

You love him, but you feel better off without him. You have nothing to say to him, yet feel that you’ve lose something important. You believe you have given up on your love, but the heartstings still stir.

Perhaps you really need to talk to him before walking away. Or you might regret giving up a six-year relationship without a good fight, or understand the real cause and reasons.

Give the guy a break. When his business failed, he had to depend on your emotional and financial support. Although he has a good job now, he seems to have his confidence. His temper is bad and he seems distant and uncommunicative, He does not want to spend time with you, and you have nothing to share when together.

Perhaps he feels inferior and unaccomplised bext a career-minded, efficient and confident woman who doesn’t really need a man like him. Perhaps he things he’s not good enough for you. Did you ever say you’d be better off without him? Did you tell him you were stupid to stand by him when he was down? Are things said in anger blown our of context and misconstrued?

Be open and honest with each other. Tell him you love hum and still want him for keeps. But you need him to show you that he cares and loves you, too. You are a woman, not a super career machine.

You need hugs and kisses, you need to be held and loved. You want to share his weekends and his friends, althoughj he can have his space and time out when needs it.

Get through to the man you used to be happy with. Perhaps he has been hiding behind a veneer because failing has been tough. A man needs his pride and respect. Help him to rebuild and get bak to the top. He will love you all the more for understanding, and for fighting for the love you used to share.

Perfect Guy Not Doing it Right…........

WORRIED SOUL:

I AM in love with a guy who treats me carelessly. Countless times, I’ve tried to put the painful memories behind me, but we keep meeting as we have mutual friends who expect us to be together.

I dont blame them because we have so much in common. We are affectionate, crazy about the same sports, passionate about travelling, and have similiar tastes in food and views on most matters. Even our mothers have the same temperament.

When we first met, i was overwhelmed by the attention his family and friends showered me. It was love at first sight. Now undersatnad him is an endless struggle. My mind keeps telling me to backout, but my heart will not let go.

He is the perfect guy who came at the right time. Why should I look for another guy when my sold mate is standing before me? But I’m sad that he doesn’t put much effort into our relationship. Should I forget that we ever met? Is this the sign that we are not meant for each other?

Puzzled

THELMA :

HOW does he treat you carelessly? You say he does not put much effort into your relationship, yet you claim to be soul mates.
Perhaps he believes that as you are both so alike and in tune with each other, he need not say or do more.

It is more important that you believe that he loves and cares about you. If he treats you like a sister-easy and indifferent-then perhaps you have misunderstood his feelings.

Dig into the relationship; shake him up to get the truth. Suffering in silence and bottling up your feelings will not help you understand him better. Does he know how you feel or that you are unhappy with his behaviour?

Does he even know you’re both supposed to be a couple? You are only together because you have mutual friends and attend the same functions and gatherings. How do you claim a relationship if there is no bon, no understandings of love?

Do not hang on because you believe that he is your perfect guy. Do not cling to false hope or tell yourself that there is no one better for you. Do not be afraid to ask for the truth.

If he loves you , then you can tell him to make more effort and treat you better. But if it has been a mistake, then free your heart for another. Love is a very intimate feeling. Being alike does not always make for a perfect match.